MetalBite Review by Tobias on 5/8/2001
For a band that touts stupid little slogans like "Play this at maximum volume or be a wimp" or "If you donít enjoy this record, fuck off and die" on their CD sleeve, I would expect something either as powerful or terrifying as hell.
But thatís not what you get with In Aeternum
ís The Pestilent Plague
. In fact, if any band is so bold to write crap like that on their CD, you can bet your ass thereíll be people like me to shred those idiotic claims. To save time, I think Iíll just bullet point what these candyass dolts deliver:
- Almost laughable growls. This guyÖ or kid, Iím not quite sureÖ has his real voice bursting through the seams of his tired and mundane growling. Fire him.
- The guitar work sounds exactly the same across the board. Itís simple in a bad way and completely unimaginative. Go to hell.
- The lyrics are about the dumbest thing Iíve heard since Chinchillaís Madness album. "Kill the Christians, kill them all!" and "I curse you all" are likely the high pointsÖ and that is pathetic. These numb-nuts should take a lesson from the 80ís cyberpunk Foetus whoís big track was The only Good Christian is a Dead Christian. Guess what, THEY BROKE UP and they were MORE IMAGINATIVE. Besides, didnít every freaking death metal band in the 80ís already do that?
- Bass is drab, but what else would you expect from an album on which every song sounds the same.
- Drumming is completely uneventful and just seems to plod along with the rest of the losers.
- Everything about this band screams mediocrity. They want to be scary and they make me laugh. If they want to be frightening they should try taking a hint from Lamb of God.
This is the most mediocre and boring death metal Iíve heard in a long timeÖ perhaps I wouldnít be so hard on them if they werenít conceited enough to actually print that truckload of chicken feces on the inside cover.
These guys are the equivalent of a conceited film director thatís made nothing but low budget, not scary, B horror movies.