Review by Alex on September 23, 2024.

Let’s get straight to the point. “A Girl Called Cerveza” is not only a pun of the less good kind, but it is simultaneously an album that impresses more by Tankard’s stamina than by the power of its riffs. A lot of the songs come and go and… nothing else. It is hardly possible to get hooked by tracks like “Witchhunt 2.0” or “Random to Fandom”, because there is just nothing that draws the listener into the song. I caught myself thinking from time to time that the melodic yet promising intro to “Stay Thirsty” builds up more tension than the entire work reviewed here. Moreover, the album cannot justify its length. Tankard digs through standardized-sounding guitar lines that can be used in this powerful yet not totally wild style of Thrash, but shouldn't be used too often.

But Tankard isn’t an absolute beginner, to say it this way and therefore the album houses some positive details, even though it needs a telescope to see the highlights of the quartet's discography in a sky adorned with a few cider clouds. The production does the style of the band justice, it is edgy, muscular, and well-balanced. Gerre’s voice is also (as always) a strong component. Since the early beginning, this dude has had a lot of energetic vibes in his voice and I guess this will never change. Of course, his vocals do not span a remarkable number of octaves, but that would be a waste of talent, because (as you know) that's not what thrash is about. Moreover, the technical skills of the guys are beyond doubt, the band acts as a well-trained unit. Therefore I am happy that there are a few compositional gems. First of all, “Not One Day Dead (But Mad One Day)” knocks on the door of Tankard's sound art hall of fame. A profound riff, a straight approach, and enough dynamic to keep things interesting: I can certainly recommend this rocket. The swift “Master of Farces” also shows its teeth and spreads a lively aura. "Running on Fumes" is, at least compared with the other pieces, a pretty strong closer.

Other songs do not work that well. I have nothing against Doro, but her voice in the first verse of “The Metal Ladyboy” sounds terrible and generally speaking, I do not know why Tankard were of the opinion that a duet is necessary. Worse still, this song is evidently too long. Thank God, this is the only real downer. Tracks like the opener forget to set the imaginary stage on fire, but they also do not fall by the wayside. So perhaps it is just a matter of personal taste and I do not intend to ignore the very positive reviews so far. Nevertheless, from my point of view, songs like “Metal Magnolia” do not shine with a massive degree of intensity and they are more like stopgaps than gems to be carefully explored. But I am sure you like to check it out on your own and I recommend to do so, because generally speaking, Tankard have enriched the worldwide thrash scene. Everybody who denies this should be killed by a Zombie attack.

Rating: 6 out of 10