Review by Dominik on November 8, 2024.

After covering Abattoir’s “Vicious Attack”, Agent Steel’s “Skeptics Apocalypse” is the next logical destination on our galactic tour of Earth’s mid-´80s speed and thrash metal classics. But while “Vicious Attack” leans toward earthly themes, “Skeptics Apocalypse” boldly goes where few thrash albums dare: interstellar. But here’s the typical “review a classic that has been reviewed a hundred times” twist—this is an album whose strengths are so obvious they almost defy description. There’s John Cyriis’ glass-shattering vocals, the unforgettable guitar duels (featuring future Holy Terror and Abattoir members), and of course, “Agents of Steel,” which easily ranks among the top 50 thrash songs of all time. Add a healthy dose of sci-fi intrigue, and I am asking: what’s really left to say about it?

It dawned on me, however, that the answer might lie not in analyzing its obvious traits, but in questioning how it might sound to a species entirely unfamiliar with Earth. For a lack of better ideas, imagine, if you will, a report from the Rigelian Council of Interstellar Culture, sent back to their planet after intercepting “Skeptics Apocalypse”. What would these extraterrestrials make of it?

Beginning of the report, general overview: the Rigelian Council of Interstellar Culture intercepted “Skeptics Apocalypse”, an auditory document that to the untrained sensory receptors of Earthlings would be classified as “speed” or “thrash” metal. To a Rigelian, it might be more accurately described as “high-energy psychological data encoded in frequencies bordering on sonic hostility”. This unique transmission provides Rigelians a look into Earth’s psychological state regarding extraterrestrial beings. The Earthlings’ music pulses with a mix of existential dread, violent defense strategies, and a little unhealthy fascination with alien life—a cocktail that is both amusing and bewildering to advanced beings like ourselves.

Key Sections of the Transmission: it opens with a fierce anthem dedicated to Earth’s so-called “Agents of Steel,” who apparently see themselves as the planet’s front line against, well… us. This faction relies on a material they call “steel” for defense, which is cute, if not laughably impractical, in the face of our molecular disintegration beams. The song’s blistering tempo and Cyriis’ high-pitched vocal acrobatics suggest a desperate determination to fight off invaders with ferocity alone—a bit like trying to scare off a spaceship with a rock. Though their technology is primitive, the raw energy of “Agents of Steel” earns our respect.

On equal footing stands the next highlight in the transmission, a section dedicated to beings Earthlings call “Godz”—likely an overzealous approximation of Rigelians or similar entities. In this track, humans display both a reverence for these cosmic figures and a desire to appease them. This song reads almost like a hymn of sacrifice. We’d advise them to tone it down, but their intense devotion is entertaining. Plus, the aggressive tempo in “Bleed for the Godz” has a certain primal energy, a willingness to defy survival instincts in honor of these mystical beings.

What remains a bit of a cosmic mystery is “144,000 Gone”. Do we talk about mass abductions or alien logistical errors? Now, here’s where Earthlings’ paranoia reaches its zenith. This song references 144,000 of their own species mysteriously vanishing—an allegation we can’t corroborate as our transport logs report far fewer abductions than this number. It seems to represent a mass Earthling fear of unexplained disappearances, with humans apparently leaping to blame aliens for every vanishing pet and lost car key. The song’s intense, repetitive riffing conveys the collective desperation of their species terrified that something is out there, taking them away one by one. Maybe on the brink of hysteria, but it’s hard not to appreciate their flair for interstellar melodrama.

This is in short the highlights of the transmission, though the remaining sections do not fall by the cosmic wayside. There are songs that reveal the Earthling´s connection to their sun, where the tone is less hostile and more admiring (“Children of the Sun”). It´s a refreshing change of pace on auditory display here. We also find parts where the Earth inhabitants recognize their limitations but are determined to fight judgment (“Guilty as Charged”), a song that shows a peculiar blend of acceptance and rage.

Concluding remarks: “Skeptics Apocalypse” reflects a world still in its cosmic adolescence. For all its fear, defiance, and desperate bravado, it’s a promising glimpse into a young race with potential. Perhaps, with a few thousand more years of development, humans will grow beyond their paranoia and realize that their “Agents of Steel” are no match for our interstellar bureaucracy. End of report.

Of course, the Rigelians could be completely wrong with their interpretation, but I cannot shed the feeling that they understand more about us and our music than we originally anticipated. Anyway, I can only agree with their rating.

Rating: 8.7/10 – because sometimes even primitive life forms put on a show worth tuning in for.

Review by Felix on November 8, 2024.

"Masters of metal, agents of steel" - once you have listened to the chorus of "Agents of Steel", you will never forget again this prime example of metallic catchiness. In addition, the high velocity and the extremely effective guitars of the first track of "Skeptics Apocalypse" came like a bolt from the blue. No doubt, we were listening to an outstanding album with fantastic songs that did not lack of a very important feature - the full-length did not lack of charisma. This is the small but fine difference to some speed / thrash albums of the later generations. Usually, these products of the second, third or twelfth wave are technically flawless, but they do not possess an individual aura. I admit that charisma might be a very subjective criterion. Anyway, there must be a reason why the debuts of Exodus, Agent Steel or Possessed, to name but a few, have become classics, while the first albums of later speed and thrash bands are mostly "only" very good records. (And as always, no rule is without exception.)

John Cyriis, lead singer and science fiction lunatic played a major role in the concept of this debut. The unreal atmosphere of the cover matched perfectly with the spoken intro that seemingly came directly from outer space. Agent Steel and in particular Cyriis took the listener on a journey to ominous places. The fantasy lyrics of songs like "Bleed for the Godz" or "Children of the Sun" had an inspiring effect while fascinating with a crude religiousness. Cyriis sang like a God that was worth bleeding for, a child of the sun and a master of metal simultaneously. Extremely high-pitched screaming met expressive, fairly aggressive, but also sometimes woeful singing while he always kept an eye on melodic lines. His precise approach merged with the accurate riffing and guitar lines. Some of the riffs sounded almost fragile, for example at the beginning of their inexorable demo classic "144,000 Gone". Yet this did not mean that Agent Steel shied away from fanatic guitar attacks. "Evil Eye / Evil Minds", for instance, was faster than the speed of light. The same could be said about "Agents of Steel". I am still unsure about its most outstanding detail, the effervescent main riff, the virtuoso performance of the guitarists during the instrumental parts, or the elongated screams ("steeeeeel") of Cyriis at the end of each and every chorus. His fervent performance culminated in this word so that it sent a shiver down my spine.

Agent Steel did not play speed metal for the sake of stupid aggression. Their technical possibilities opened many doors and the band made good use of this situation. The musicians fought with very well sharpened blades and the clear production fitted the bill. Any kind of dirt or rawness would have hurt the appearance of the songs. To avoid misunderstandings, the album was nonetheless able to generate a high degree of power. "Guilty as Charged" proved this statement while combining elements of spirited speed and somber power metal. However, "Skeptics Apocalypse" was no perfect album. We had to bite the bullet that two pieces could not compete with the overwhelming remaining songs. Do me a favor and neglect this fact, because one thing is certain: this album has stood the test of time with great ease. Its charisma is unbroken. I guess every alien has a copy of "Skeptics Apocalypse".

Rating: 8.6 out of 10