Review by Jeger on December 3, 2024.

Fucking Tsjuder! The world of black metal's most brutal band: thrash and death-inspired, Satanic to the core and killing in the name of His Infernal Majesty. Since 1993, they've been laying waste to the Norwegian scene. Whilst bands like Emperor and Satyricon try to get all epic on everyone and as Taake and Kampfar spin their yarns of olde, Tsjuder just does what they do best - Devil horns up your ass black metal. Their discography is like Satan throwing a tantrum o'er the competition: aggressive, scathing and raged. And as the blood flows and as the crosses blaze, it's to adrenaline-fueled records like 2004's Desert Northern Hell - Tsjuder's crowning achievement - unleashed during the height of the New Wave of black metal; an era for redefinition and refinement for the genre. Desert Northern Hell fit right in to that particular climate, and served as inspiration for up and coming bands like Svarttjern who would embrace the sheer mania of this wholly originally, savage style of black metal.

Desert Northern Hell just rips, man and it hits like nothing you've ever felt from any other Norwegian BM band. Not even Gorgoroth or Urgehal possess this kind of testicular fortitude. Tsjuder piss standing up! Making the rest of the Norse hordes sound like your mother's kind of black metal bands. Supper anyone? Maybe a nice crocheted afghan… With Tsjuder, it's bullets, axes and torches all fucking day. 'Malignant Coronation' - a fevered and maniacal scourge of bewilderingly brutal passages that chug and swirl over you like a diabolical tempest of biblical proportions; raining down piston-stroke blast beats and heavy artillery-revving riffs from crimson skies of rapturous apocalypse. And 'Possessed'! A proper title, as Nag, Draugluin and Anti-Christian vomit pea soup, turn their heads 180 degrees and unleash their sonic onslaught. Music for the wolf as it tears through the fold and for the immolation of your local church. The outlier comes by way of 'Unholy Paragon' - a dreamlike intro as the catalyst to as of yet unheard levels of savage instrumentation. A banger! Enough to get a circle pit whipped up and snaking around piping hot portals to Hell. The album's finest offering and Tsjuder's greatest deep cut.

Desert Northern Hell closes with an old timey Venom-heralding speed and thrash metal-inspired ripper in "Morbid Lust". Like something straight out of '84 - Paul Baloff decked out in spikes & leather as opposed to tank-tops and denim. Blackened thrash mastery as only Tsjuder can do it until you're eased into a trance state by temped passages that lull and seduce like a Vixen before the carnage ensues once more. An epic closer to one of the greatest black metal records to have ever been realized under the midnight sun.

Tsjuder's music is akin to a jacked-up Ram - pitch black and bellowing exhaust through big fat chrome straight pipes while the rest of the horde scoots along in their Priuses… Shit that puts hair on your chest and veins on your cock. Just the apotheosis of brutishness and Neanderthal-like cruelty. Undisputed, unrivaled and STILL bringing the pain are Tsjuder, and there are NO signs of retreat. Like masterfully blended and perfectly aged whiskey, this band has only become more satisfying with age. A little bit more refined and perhaps a little less pissed off, but still fiercely aggressive - seasoned in the craft now as they've astounded us with epics like 'Antiliv' and 'Helvegr' that signify a proper level of artistic maturation. But Tsjuder's lunatic heyday of the early '00's will always be the era by which they are remembered for most, and Desert Northern Hell happens to be the finest Norwegian black metal album of said age.

Rating: 10 out of 10

Review by Felix on May 30, 2019.

Honestly speaking, I like convinced people more than those with lukewarm positions. Of course, sometimes conviction turns into blindness. I could give you the names of some German politicians and probably you would understand what I mean. But I hope that nobody knows these assholes outside Germany. Moreover, I prefer to speak about a very convinced band; naturally Tsjuder. Desert Northern Hell embodies their musical convictions very well and their total dedication to the genre Norway stands for. So, let's raise the blood-soaked flag of black metal while the music eats your soul and destroys any form of Christian value.

If you want to explain your girlfriend, your neighbor or your milkman the fascination of the Norwegian movement, you can make good use of this album. I don't say this is the best work in the history of black metal's once leading country. The classic albums of Mayhem, Immortal or Emperor still stand strong. Yet it is definitely true that Tsjuder's hailstorm unleashes the gigantic power of total destructiveness. Its single components are not innovative or second to none, but the result is simply mind-blowing. Firstly, the technical implementation must be described as perfect. I do not listen to a rumbling underground production, but the album does not sound polished, too. The album's title does not promise too much, hell is here. This dense, intense and terrifying sound builds the fundament for nine excellent tracks, even though I have no clue why Tsjuder join the countless formations that offer a (classic) Bathory song. "Sacrifice" is not bad, but it has just become a habit, or, to be more direct, a stale idea to play a song of early Quorthon (R.I.P.). However, the own compositions make up for this blemish. Just check out the eight minutes of "Mouth of Madness" with its flattening guitars, the morbid, Hellhammer-influenced aura and the well-integrated breaks that increase the dynamic without hurting the song's coherence. Hatred creeps slowly out of its hole during this mainly mid-paced piece and every single note fits. Typical Norwegian black metal? Yes, but much better than many songs of Tsjuder's competitors.

The three-piece cannot hide its affinity for excessive song-length. "Morbid Lust", the closer, clocks in at eleven and a half minutes and do not even think about the option that it brings the apocalyptic inferno to a peaceful end. The restless double bass motivates the dudes to an excellent performance and grim bitterness shapes the song. Tsjuder do not concentrate on the icy leads that characterize the early works of some of their famous compatriots, but they share this passion for fateful melodies which are interspersed whenever it is necessary. To be honest, it happens rarely, but who wants to listen to a colorful bouquet of melodic sequences when it comes to black metal from the top of Europe? "Ghoul" also crosses the six-minutes-border and pummels the listener with a hectic configuration. Tsjuder make the impossible possible, their fanatic combination of murderous high velocity drums and well-hidden melodies, created by rabid and insane riffs, works very well. In my humble opinion, the dudes from Oslo reach their musical summit with "Ghoul" and maybe it is a tiny problem of the other songs - with the exception of "Mouth of Madness" - that they do not develop a higher degree of individuality. However, this is no big deal, because each and every track deserves an 80 plus X percent evaluation. 

Sometimes Desert Northern Hell sounds to me like the mature continuation of "Pure Holocaust" and fans of Setherial or Urgehal will enjoy this full-length as well. It's a masterpiece in terms of Scandinavian black metal, no more, no less and even Euronymous (R.I.P.) would applaud, if this sick brain called Greifi would not have criminally intervened. By the way, his murderous deed had nothing in common with conviction - this was just unbelievable bullshit, to say the least. Thank Satan, the spirit of dudes like Euronymous lives on through albums like Tsjuder's third work.

Rating: 8.8 out of 10

Review by Aaron on March 10, 2005.

As with all musical genres, Metal or otherwise, a certain infusion of novelty is needed in order to keep it vitalized, otherwise you wind up with stagnant and tired bands that keep going long after a time when they should’ve just put the whole damn thing to bed. On the other side of the coin, however, you have bands that understand the purer foundations of Metal, in this case Black Metal, and are able to build upon that in such a way that the music maintains a primal energy that needs no expansion into diverse territory in order to keep itself going. Norway’s Tsjuder prove themselves to be in the latter category with their third release Desert Northern Hell. It’s old school Norwegian Black Metal, pure and simple. It’s like being beat up by that bully who’s been taking your milk money for the past few months; it’s not particularly new, but you don’t notice it due to the ass-kicking you’re getting.

I was particularly impressed with Anti-Christian’s drumming. Having to take time off from the band due to problems with tendonitis (the affiliction, it’s not another band) and then coming back to replace his replacement, you get no indication that there ever was a problem. Particularly on the track “Ghoul”, his timing is perfect and provides a strong, talented backbone throughout all nine tracks of the album. The guitars don’t really detract much from straight-ahead early 90’s blackness except on the mellow intro to “Unholy Paragon”, which isn’t so much an exercise in diversity of style as a means of throwing you off-guard before the song goes full blast. Desert Northern Hell showcases the overall talent of each member of the trio along with their capability to play as a solid Black Metal unit incredibly well with no one member really outshining the others, permitting the listener to enjoy the album as a seamless whole.

There are bands out there that the Troo, Ghrymm and Kvlt side of me actually prefers to have low production levels on, Tsjuder isn’t one of them. They balance just the right level of technical skill with all out brutality that would come out lop-sided if they didn’t have the production clarity on that they did. Nag’s vocal style is not heavily inundated with effects, which allows the natural evil of it to come out even more. The mid-level production suits them well and I wouldn’t be opposed to hearing it used more on further albums.

Tsjuder is a band that hasn’t been particularly prolific during their 12 year career (1 EP and now 3 albums), however Desert Northern Hell shows the time is being used wisely. Definitely a band I look forward to seeing live.


Categorical Rating Breakdown

Musicianship: 8
Atmosphere: 8
Production: 7
Originality: 6
Overall: 8

Rating: 7.4 out of 10