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I Have Fought Against It, But I Can't Any Longer.

United States Country of Origin: United States

I Have Fought Against It, But I Can't Any Longer.
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Type: Full-Length
Release Date: May 11th, 2018
Genre: Doom, Experimental, Industrial, Noise, Sludge
1. The Last Form Of Loving
2. Can Carry No Weight
3. Partly Alive
4. The West Has Failed
5. Nothing Stirs
6. Off Script
7. An Urn
8. Blessed, Alone
9. Sickly Heart Of Sand
10. Ten Times A Day, Every Day, A Stranger


Review by Alex Grindor on July 11, 2021.

While I have listened to The Body before (albeit in short segments), this is the first full-length I listened to in its entirety. Maybe it was the circumstances of my life at the moment, maybe it would have resonated with me either way, but if I had to describe the absolute misery that life can put you through at moments, this album would be the most accurate description of falling into the void of misery, despair and hopelessness ever put to music.

'The Last Form Of Loving' slithers itself as the opener of this crushing experience, with a beautiful voice that grabs your attention as it sings about "the light that survives us", the "before and after", the "stillness of the world"... and while it may sound a bit tragic, it is but a brief introduction to the all-devouring Hell that you'll be going through. The follow-up 'Can Carry No Weight' erupts in inhuman shrieks, while the aforementioned voice starts to intertwine with the despairing lyrics. A song that is both hopeful and hopeless at the same time. The rest of the album grows in instensity, dragging you further down into hellish despair track after track, with some tracks that seems catchy and calm, only to become wretched intensity moments after.

There are a lot of moments here that are just heartbreaking, with my personal favorites being the last lines of 'An Urn' delivered in hopeless ranting by Kristin Hayter (Lingua Ignota), who screams and cries in anger and despair about how everything is meaningless. The next one has to be 'Sickly Heart Of Sand', which is the most "metal" track in my opinion, with a distorted bass sound that is as crushing as is brutal and demented, with Kristin once again yelling to the top of her lungs the album's title. And the last track... well it's something that you must listen on your own, as it may be the most depressive testament ever spoken in this style.

The vocals in particular may sound a bit obnoxious and even comedic at first, but I'd be lying if I said they don't sound uncomfortable as well, like a subconscious scream in the back of your head, the one that demands you to forgo your tranquility and spew all that you've hold back for too long. The instrumentation and samples are a bit repetitive, but of course this is a minor nuance, and every track has its distinctive approach towards expressing the unfathomable despair and bleakness of being in this state of mind. Lastly, the guest vocals are the best choices put here. The anguished screams of Kristin may resonate with those who have been in such state, when all you desire is to scream until you fade out, while the clean vocals evoke the comforting voice, the voice of someone who is there to embrace you in this despair. Or perhaps is it meant to echo your own calmness before you break once again?

A behemoth of hopelessness, a beacon of despair, and yet it is as rewarding and cathartic as it is punishing.

"Somewhere there is heaven, and you shall find it, and I will wait forgotten a hundred times"

Rating: 9.5 out of 10

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