Review by Greg on December 16, 2025.

There are certain names more likely to catch your eye than others. Seeing a Turkish band called Kebabblast is certainly something, as a lifelong fan of the namesake dish, although my digestive system isn't always ready for it. Formed by two friends, and having put out two full-lengths in just two months, one would be quick to dismiss it as nothing more than the umpteenth grindcore outfit releasing something on Bandcamp out of boredom and disappearing shortly thereafter – not to mention, the band members themselves define it as such. Instead, this is pretty much death metal of the modern variety, with strong melodic influences, although partially needed to make up for the absence of vocals, as this Waltz In A Meat Grinder is completely instrumental. Nevertheless, it has more in common with, say, Skeletal Remains than Napalm Death or Wormrot. Besides that 8-second track that appears towards the end, that is.

Apart from that, the sweet intro of 'Kebabocalypse' soon gives way to the rest of the songs, which are short – take a look at the song lengths and keep in mind that those include 10 to 20 seconds of Turkish samples of dubious origin – but not excessively so, and most of all showcasing some downright surprising lead guitar work. Nothing groundbreaking, for sure, but song titles such as 'Moustache Terror' or 'Meatgrinder Romance' should have absolutely no right to be so damn catchy, yet here we are. A further plus is the human drummer, which is quite the rarity in this niche. Certainly, Waltz In A Meat Grinder wasn't conceived in a single afternoon of work (or mad respect to the lads if it did). 'Blender Messiah' is another example of the care put into the songwriting, a song that could fill the 'instrumental appearing towards the end' role in a more high-profile effort, like 'Cry Before The Credits' also does, even if its main melody feels a bit off. The main downside, of course, is that the song template is more or less constant, a thing that might grow a bit stale as tracks go by, and some are too short to leave the same impression. I realize I'm analyzing it like it were a serious album, but this is not your average throwaway joke either, so I can't help it.

Also, I should give up recommending individual tracks – just go listen to the whole thing. Till the end, as you'd be foolish to skip the closer, the last mission statement of Waltz In A Meat Grinder, and God fuckin' dammit 'Master Of Nuggets' made me laugh way more than it should have. Yeah, more evidence for my sense of humour being totally broken, maybe. In any case, another full-throttle track with a bastard main riff, replete with lots of cool guitar parts, naturally including a snippet of the legendary original solo in the middle, and likewise naturally fired at ten times the original pace.

Of course, unable to understand any Turkish words, I'm left in this Schrödinger-esque situation where the samples could either be an essential part of the listening experience I cannot properly appreciate, or the dumbest thing ever put to tape, which spares me from lowering the score rolling my eyes. But hey, I went into this expecting a tenth of it, at best...

Rating: 7.5 out of 10