Greetings, fellow metalheads!

Now this one should be fun. Or funny, not necessarily "haha" funny. So if your eyebrows suddenly get raised up, or you suddenly stop headbanging while Google Translator reads this text out loud (yep, done that sometimes when the text is too long for me) or you fancy metalheads with your vinyl collection suddenly hear a record scratch in your head, it could be one of 3 reasons. Whatever you read below could fit perfectly crazy shit you see on the news. Other possibility is that I have officially lost it because of the crazy shit you see on the news. Or, since I'm writing this on April 1st, it could be just an April Fool joke. So, you'll have to find out for yourself which of these is true when I tell you that Darkthrone is back with brand new single, Bruce Dickinson booked some vocal lessons with ICX Vortex because he wants to learn to yodel and Enslaved decided to sing some shanties. And still it pales in comparison to things that are currently happening. But it shouldn't stop you from clicking those links below and always have a good soundtrack to your life.

So, let's start the summary of March 2026 and there are really good things here. Full-lengths came from Xenobiotic, Vreid, Monstrosity, Lamb of God, Bound in Fear, Gaerea, Exodus, Hegeroth, Winterfylleth, Rivers Ablaze, Party Cannon, Hellripper, Defacing God and Black Label Society to give you a good mixture of legends of the scene and the upcoming masters of some of the subgenres. But obviously all of this could be made up and none of these are below. Or all of the above could be true, but the link below might lead you to some AI created band playing their 6-string guitars with their 6 fingers. Enjoy!

Now time for the EPs. Things that make you smile when you see them first and then realise it didn't last as long as you want to. But should last at least 7 minutes, I can guarantee that. And you can always take it for another spin again later. These releases came from HourHouse, Fell Harvest, Blackbraid, Eternal Champion, Vömitt, Belith, Raat, Wynter Myst, The Watcher, Fulci, Kaelis, Saturnus, Carnivore A.D. (missed Carnivore with Peter Steele?) and Asterean. But who knows what you'll find under that link below? It could be Gregorian chants or discography of Abba. But I know you're all warriors and are not afraid of some weird links:

Now the singles, the promotional bits, which sometimes promise a lot, but not always give you the full experience. And quite recently, with some bands releasing 2-track singles, cause my headaches as I don't know if they're really singles? Some EPs also sometimes have 2 tracks. Who makes the rules? I don't know anything anymore. Either way, we've got stuff below from Nervosa, Yoth Iria, Trelldom, Distant, Venom, Sevendust, Deathstorm, Immolation, Heavenwood, Archspire, Green Carnation, Corrosion of Conformity, Six Feet Under, Napalm Death with Melvins, Melechesh, Lago (yay! They're back!), Devin Townsend, Sabaton, Lacrimosa, A/Oratos, Samael, Pro-Pain, Fit For An Autopsy, Erdve, The Troops of Doom (playing Kiss's "God of Thunder"), Necrotted, Jungle Rot, Horn, Darkthrone, Armored Saint, Vomitory, Moonspell, Dimmu Borgir, Enslaved, Sepultura and many more. That's quite a set of big names here, I wonder if it's true. It could be a list of the worst contestants from Idol:

Now, with the splits released in March I don't think I can come up with any trick here as I found only one. And it's a split of Hässlig with Opresija. So please enjoy and hope it's not a link of video compilation of people unsuccessfully trying to do actual splits (although that would be quite funny):

Next list is as usual made from live performances. We've got Arpeghy, Ayreon, Bleeding Through, Concerto Moon, Dream Theater, Epica, Heriot, Legendry, Paradise in Flames, Prong, Thundermother and Varg. They obviously might be real live albums or might be studio recordings with added crowd sounds. With vocalist supported by some back track. And samples filling for drummer missing some beats. But you know that you won't find out until you click the link below:

And the job that Dan Swanö is a master of (I've recently heard that unfortunately he's not planning to release anything new anymore) - re-releases. The bands which refreshed their old material in March are Azaghal, Confess, Dan Swanö, Drowned, Drudensang, Gotland, Hermh, Kraanium, Michael Schenker Group, Ministry, Nachtblut, Night Demon, RYUJIN, Skraeckoedlan, Subway to Sally and TesseracT. You can check if these still sound good in their new versions by clicking the link below. Or it might be a link to all bands Dan Swanö used to be in (do you think that maybe if I write his name 3 times it will change his mind and he'll come back with some new material?):

Thanks for reaching the end of this update, I'm not very good at writing them regularly, but I definitely make sure to keep the playlists up to date, so make sure to check our profile to keep up. Remember to support your favourite creators and interact with them on social media as much as you can to make all algorithms sweat in fear before the metal tsunami. And you can go a little crazy with moshing today. But only today! Tomorrow you need to go back to moshing responsibly.

Your fellow metalhead,

Maciek